I always loved my birthdays .I can still remember every single birthday dress of mine ever since I was five. Basically I had the best of dresses from the time I was five and I had probably recollected all the time how good I was at choosing it. My birthday had one big problem associated with it though. It was in December and fell right across half yearly exams .Even though I used to celebrate every single year-my birthday it was like everybody was under tension .I almost had to do early preparations to enjoy the December day. All throughout I just wanted to grow old as soon as possible. Every year I counted that 19th of December was the luckiest day in my life and from 20th December I would start waiting for the 19th December next year.

I celebrated my 28^th birthday in Mumbai. Basically I was frustrated of not at all being recognized at work and surrendering all my leaves .I just decided to take a break .My friend asked me why don’t I drop to Mumbai and the plan which I had from  more than 3 years suddenly just materialized in a day. Had a wonderful trip and came back to Bangalore. This time I was not waiting for Dec 19. I was sure about that part.

I remember the first grey I had .It was in my school and just a single one .I was so excited about this grey that I used to call almost everyone and show it to them. When I got into my 25-26 I really had quite some greys and I thought yeah finally I had a reason to convince my mother on coloring hair. How cool can that get now?

One night I was well into some kind of mood swings of my own and I just started to keep staring at an acne on my face and how it was going to turn into a black head and suddenly I caught something shiny on the side .Oh another grey and I just ran my fingers and I could not count them possibly now .Everywhere there was a grey .I could not possibly call it cool anymore –it was an instant stress giver .I started looking in the mirror-I could see it now .My skin how it was going to be after five years.

When I turned 25, thirty seemed to be like way very ahead and an age that will take ages to come. Everyone just took a threshold of 30 like’ When you turn 30’.I knew 30 meant  big, mature, motherly, managerial, settled and old. I knew when you enter 30- basically your hormones would stress you off completely .I was still certain there is century like time for me to turn 30.And then time just flew. When I turned 28,I guess I got into the mature age. Everything around me changed suddenly. I was not sure if this unmanageable stress was because I was going to stop being beautiful or that I was not married, not a mom or a manager as per my perceptions before. I was still standing in the same track that I did from almost 6-7 years with noticeable greys and a ‘not so good to reveal age’

I felt I was going to live another may be 28.And how fast did I get here? So there is hardly any time for me now. There are greys everywhere .I practically started researching on laugh lines and cry lines .I was thinking- Damn! Why did I have to laugh and cry so much in my childhood and youth !I was trying to cry less now .I was suddenly running short of one thing-‘Time’. The whole purpose of my existence – I am yet to research and find out and implement it. But I was running in short of time real bad. It appeared like only my time machine was running sometimes .I went to Facebook and made my age private to myself .I could not believe it cos once upon a time I always wondered Common! Why would people not put their birthdays! This made me believe that may be I am running in the same track that many others ran before.

Now I knew when I was PMSing ,I knew how to cool down myself alone .I knew how life would be after few years .I felt the need for a companion. I felt the need to be married. I had never got this feeling before .My parents had never forced me into thoughts of marriage till 25.After that they were kind of chasing me down to get settled .But yeah nothing really was remotely interesting in settling down. Why would you settle down when life is so good! For some reason- I literally pushed marriage with all my heart. But 28- like a tic-toc clock on and I suddenly wanted to get married. Should I say I suddenly became desperate to get married! I could practically see nothing beyond marriage!

 I started to research on all homemade beauty aids cos now I started worrying how chemicals could damage my skin by a year. Yeah you know one more thing I did-blogging as well. I just feel I am running in short of everything right now. I had decided I would do my first facial on my marriage .And now I don’t see marriage happening, so I just decide to do the facial secretly. Well this is the first place that I am saying I actually did it .I realized it is not worth a secret that you have aged, there are lines on your face .That you might have all greyed up by next year. There is nothing to hide that you are fighting the nature to keep your age and all those wrinkles away. It is ok that you are still not settled in life.

Everything has its own sweet time. What matters is not the 28 years that you have spent. What does matter  is the realization of how fast a 28 can pass by and how to make every single day count from now.There may be no one to love you but you .But you have to give commitment to yourself to love indefinitely to the one person –You .Life is a gift that we just got to have and live as humans .Who knows how the dog feels at not being born as human! Every single moment-I decided to live it like there is no tomorrow. That tomorrow I will die of may be in an earthquake under some building-maybe I never really get a chance to get old as well! So let me make most of it now-this moment and this life!